


Discovery

by intoxicatedcinnamon (orphan_account)



Series: Letters to Haru [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 23:39:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5311472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/intoxicatedcinnamon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto realises he's in love with Haru and confesses in free verse</p>
            </blockquote>





	Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> I often wonder what MakoHaru from Makoto's perspective would sound like 
> 
> **Read in landscape if you're on mobile so you don't get fake line breaks** Please leave comments/ kudos if you liked it and subscribe cos I'll be trying to post as often as I can :) Every work will be tagged separately so you get a heads up on what's coming, and they don't necessarily have to be read together. 
> 
> P.s. (Haru will return his feelings in the end, duh) 
> 
> Also, be my friend and give me ideas for subsequent chapters at intoxicatedcinnamon.tumblr.com :)

**Dear Haru,**

I have never been good at writing in paragraphs.  
I’ve never been good at saying out loud  
what I feel, I smile and talk about what happens around me, not  
who I am.

Would you be mad at me if I told you  
I’ve never been good at talking about me  
because I confuse myself?

Would you be mad at me if I told you  
that I think I’m in love

with you?

I want to believe that the only thing you’ll narrow your eyes at  
is that I didn’t tell you earlier what was in my head  
and that you never noticed it until now.

Have you noticed, perhaps?

I’ve only realised after twelve years, after all.

I thought love would come in an overwhelming mess of fireworks and pining and  
secret notes and stolen glances and meetings in hallways that pointed arrows for me to follow, that would say  
“IN LOVE, now do something about it.”  
(But then again,  
I was supposed to be in love with a girl.)  
I always thought one day I’d look at her and say “hey  
she’s really cute” and  
“I want to take care of her  
for the rest of my life.” I thought the mangas  
were real, that girls were all I would be able to think about when I  
got to this age, that they’d be mysterious and nice-smelling and everything in between  
that keep them in your head so much you can’t recognise yourself at night.

But Haru has never been different. We’ve never been different and I think  
that’s why I never knew. All I knew was that  
I never want Haru to leave, and  
I want to do things for you, I want you to smile for me, and laugh  
and be down the hallway where I can call for you. I want you to be near me  
and think about me. I want you to know that I’m thinking about you.

I want to hold you when you cry, because I know you always run a longer bath when you do  
and let your tears run into the water to become one with it so you can pretend  
you’re not sad but I know because your eyes will be a little swollen the next day but I guess  
I only see because I’ve been observing them for so long.

I want to pull you close by draping my arm across your shoulders after you swim  
even with your shirt off,  
without you flinching. I want to hold your hand on the way home, not just when  
I’m pulling you out of the pool.

All sorts of different terms have been popping up lately, about  
who people think they are, and which other humans they like to love.  
And I’m a boy, I’m sure of that but  
I can't see myself with any other boy if he isn't you. And so I don’t think I'm a boy who likes boys.  
I'm just a boy, and the person I love—Haru—

you just happen to be a boy.

There is a difference. And I’ve just begun to figure it out. And I suppose  
that’s what has been confusing me for so long.

But here I am now. I know myself, Haru. This is love. And I'm in love with you.

Haru-chan, I love you.

But I don’t know where else to say it but on my computer.


End file.
